I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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