That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
