I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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