Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
