WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
