Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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