Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Come on in and take your pants off
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