Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
