You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
