ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
