I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
