she was so not down for the gang bang
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
