her vagine was all disorganized.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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