So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize