"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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