The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
