put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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