White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
