Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
