i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
