would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
