apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
