hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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