I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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