I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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