how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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