We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
