I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
