I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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