he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
