I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
