But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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