Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
