Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
