The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
