Can i not drive my cunt home
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
