So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I am available for nakedness
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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