Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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