singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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