It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
