I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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