Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
