she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
She's the barista slut.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
