i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
