I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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