i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
