How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
