His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
