Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
