i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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