Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
