Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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