Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
