i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
