I want to make a zoo with you.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
