i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize