cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
