I smell stomach acid.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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