My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
