just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
