i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
He felt like a one man threesome
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Randomize
