No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize