that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
