The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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