I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
