I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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