did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
