It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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