the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
So vagazzling was a success
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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