Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
