I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
