I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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