Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
