So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
