How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
no, he came in my armpit
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
