saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Randomize
