I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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