I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
