Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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