HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
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